Little things can mean a lot.
Although I do not dwell on it, I cannot deny that my mobility has slowly but surely become steadily worse over these years of MS.
I went from one stick two two sticks. When I came in the front door I used to leave my sticks in the umbrella stand and then use the furniture and other items to assist me around the house. As things came to pass, I would eventually find that I had two sticks by my bed ready for when I got up the next day. Those sticks were essential.
I remember that I used two go to the kitchen; make a coffee and hobble back to the bedroom carrying both my sticks in one hand and my coffee in the other. It had been a long time now since I had done that. The very idea of doing that had seemed pie-in-the-sky of recent months (we don't even attempt things that we know that we are not capable of).
At midday today, I was awoken by a Skype call from a cpnhelp member, telling me that she'd arrived back home in Kiev from her visit to the UK. Normally I am never pleased to be woken up but I was pleased to learn that she'd got back OK. Except for trips to the bathroom, I normally have to wire myself up with an FES device to prevent foot drop on my right foot. If I am in a really bad way, I would only be able to move along by walking backwards without my FES device on. Today I seemed pretty OK. Today, I actually made a coffee and brought it back to the bedroom and drank it in bed.
I am reminded of an evening back in June 2016. I have a video of the event (don't get excited; there's nothing smutty in it). In the video, I am dressed in lounging clothes. Hanging down are two wires, not connected to anything. Normally, those wires are connected to my FES box suspended on a lanyard. I am wearing no FES box on this occasion. I walk up and down the living room twirling my sticks and sticking my legs up in turn. Cured! For only then though. It didn't last long. I was back to "Normal" before I went to bed. All I now have is the video and the hope that it will return.
I recall an instance about two and a half years ago. I had landed at Malaga in Spain. It was the first time that I had really travelled as a disabled person. I had no wheelchair of my own then. I thought perhaps that I would hire some equipment in Spain. Special assistance was all booked for this journey. When I got off the plane, there was a wheelchair waiting for me. It took me to the end of the air-bridge whereupon they told me to get out and wait for different assistance. After 20 minutes, I knew that this wasn't coming. Amazingly, I managed to walk at good pace from the gate, all the way to the outside m of the airport where a taxi had been arranged. That was amazing. I normally could not walk more than 20 metres. On the return journey, I was asked whether I would be able to stand up and walk through the electronic security arch. I thought that I could but this I could not manage to do without my metal sticks. How things can change. They say a week is a long time in politics. I think that it was Dinah Washington that said "What a Difference a Day Makes". I think that perhaps Esther Phillips sang it better.
I haven't had an easy life and so never say things cannot get any worse ... because I know that they can. At the same time, I know that it is not a given that things cannot improve ... because they can AND THEY DO!