This is my life

Submitted by Homina on Wed, 2011-08-31 20:09

Hello All

I have pulsing for about six months now

I hardly notice the pulses now except for kidney pain 

coffee enemas help with the kidney pain because they help with detox 

I am gaining strength but the more I am capable of the more I push myself so I stay at the same level of fatigue 

I am Thankful for the protocol and all you guys but this disease is an absolute pain in everyway 

On top of that I have to find a place to live because my own mother is threatening me with eviction 

She doesn't believe I'm sick because it does not suit her and she does not except that she set me up for this because of her chronic neglect I argue with her a couple times a week and it is hard on my body to be reminded that the person that brought me in to the world doesn't give a rats ass about me and for the most part never has (This is confirmed by other family members)

My Uncle doesn't beieve I'm sick ...he's wrong but I am afraid to tell him because he has been helping me finalcially

So I have a lot of pressures and sometimes I just want to die or explode... my situation feels that bad

I don't know what do to and I just pray alot  that I will get healthier and my life situation will improve  and I really work at it... my current therapist just sits there and says very little ...To be honest I think he's a nice guy but a crappy therapist (for me) so I need to find someone else 

My Family system is at the heart of my problem.. there is a history of neglect on both mother and father's side and almost none of them are doing anything about it ..


On the positive side I am getting stronger and have started my own Taxi business which should bring in more money ... but it was exhausting getting everything set up 

So for me "curing" Cpn is only part of my battle 

I need support in finding a suitable living arrangement someone to talk to and give me practical solutions  and it is really hard to find that... I have the ability to figure out my own problems but I get overwhelmed sometimes 

Probably some of you wil feel overwhelmed by all this so comment on what you can 

If any of you  are available by phone PM me... I'm not crazy .. just need support sometimes

If this seems a little incoherent sorry I have the ability to be coherent but sometimes I just need to vent








I am so sorry for your being in a bad situation.  How old are you?  It is great that you began a business.  You obviously have tanacity, intelligence, a good sense of order, and get many things done - even when you are struggling under the exhaustion of this bug.

Parents can be disappointing at times.  Please don't let that poison your life.  After what you have done, there is no sense in wasting time - some can hold that kind of thing for their whole lives.  Terrible waste.  Look to someone you admire and try to pattern yourself that way.  I am so sorry.   And this is a good place to vent.


3/9 Symptoms returning. Began 5 abx protocol 5/9 Rifampin 600, Amox 1000, Doxy 200, MWF Azith 250, flagyl 1000 daily. Began Sept 04 PPMS EDSS 6.7 Now good days EDSS 1 Mind, like parachute, work only when open. Charlie Chan  In for the duration.&am

Having and abandoning father and a narcisistic mother was to much for me to bear as a child I can't begin to describe how painfull it was to be rejected and have almost no one to protect me and care for me

I appreciate everyones feedback it is helpfull but this illness is so difficult to manage.... I feel pretty good and all the while I'm overdoing it and have no way to know how far I am from a crash then it happens and I'm down for a few days

Well I am in the middle of a crash now and slowly coming back... but pacing myself is the most difficult thing for me to do and I still have trouble with it

Shaolin I was most interested in your being a Kung Fu Master and in your use of chinese herbs with good resultsI myself am a lover of yoga I was hoping to take some martial arts but I still lack stamina

I have been in contact with some suppliers of chinese herb here in the San Francisco area and hope to get that formula and start using it along with the antibiotics I have been sick for about forty years so I don't know how effective the herbs will be but if I can regain my strength  I would be more positive about my life



DAILY:  NAC 2400MG , DHEA sublingual , vit D3 , multi vits,./ Three times  a week: B12 injections (Hydroxycobalamin). Deer antler./  Once every few months methyl B12 Methyl injections

Homina, I'm reminded of an acquaintance who knows just everything about everything. Her brother has Lyme disease. He is a fine artist and has had bouts of debilitating weakness for many years. His work is really impressive, but he has periods of energy and can be hugely productive, then has none and can barely lift himself, much less a paintbrush.

Now, this woman - and her large family - grew up near Lyme, Connecticut. Their area was obviously the first to get a vast introduction to, and education about, Lyme.   Yet she insists her brother is not ill, but is lazy.   If he'd only 'get off his ass' she would represent him, but he has no tenacity, no drive, no energy, blah, blah, blah. She has pronounced him manic-depressive, as well. She's like everyone else with no knowledge and no empathy.

Now, we all know how this disease can take you out at the knees (much like Lyme). We all know how you can be so exhausted, you can fall asleep in mid-sentence and we know the cure isn't fun and can bring symptoms back in all their glory. But others can't see it, or taste it, or touch it, so they deny it exists. They blame us for being ill, or say it's in our minds (well, actually, they're often right, since CPn invades the brain).

Be tough. Be determined. One day, you'll look back and wonder how you ever could have been so ill, so incapacitated, and you will be happy and more productive and energetic than you've been in years. And, really, that's all that's important. Ignore the negative energy and move forward, even if you have to leave the unpleasant people far behind you, in your dust.

The difference between what we do and what we are capable of doing would suffice to solve most of the world’s problems. Mohandas Gandhi

hang in there!!! Therapist? for me, the best Therapist is of the spiritual type...Dr. Jesus (smile)...I really do wish you well...we are in this with you!

Mac and Rica,

Well said!

Homina, hang in there and don't let them get to you. Being around these people is the number one thing you can control. On explains how being around positive people benefit your healing process.

Right now I'm speaking with a good friend that is skepticle I have any of this. Family, friends, even sometime my wife don't want to speak about my issues. I don't know why people won't embrass diseased people. Maybe because we don't look sick like a cancer patient? I just don't know.

I do know that it is beneficial to surround yourself with positive people. Here on the website has been extremely beneficial and I think finding a local association for support like for MS, Lyme, etc gives you live interaction with others. There are other sick people out there silimiar to us and it is a breathe of fresh air to speak with others that have this or similiar issues. I would consider the Lyme approach b/c the treatment is more similiar. This will help extend your support system, which we all need.

If you need help finding a local association of sorts, let me know and I can help find one for you in your area.


Started CAP on 06/29/2010 for RRMS. Dx w/ Brevundimonas Vesicularis in Jan '11 hiding in #20 tooth with root canal. Extracted 04/04/2011. Clinically dx with Bartonella at the same time. Recently found MPn.

Abx: 100 mg Doxy bid<

Dealing with chronic infections is hard enough in itself. Having to deal with people who don't understand you and think that  it's "all in your head" or just an excuse for being lazy just makes it much harder.

I was in a similar situation. I was running a successful Kung Fu school when i suddenly got sick. It was so bad that i wasn't able to do my job.  My friends, family and business partner were understanding and sympathizing in the beginning, but when i didn't recover after 4 weeks their attitude towards me and my situation changed drastically.

Suddenly they began to question my loyalty and commitment. My business partner became very suspicious and accused me of having alterior motives. My mother in law thought i was having an affair. Suddenly all kinds of crazy rumors started flying around. There was something wrong with my head. I had gone crazy. I had an STD. It was HIV or syphilis. I became extremely depressed. I had always been a respected member of  society and all of a sudden my life and reputation were in ruins. I kept trying to get help from doctors, but it was like banging my head against a brick wall.

The doctors kept telling me that there was nothing wrong with me, but my joints and muscles were burning and aching, i had trouble breathing, had stabbing chest pain and was tired all the time. Having to hear the same thing over and over again was so frustrating. "It's all in your head. Just relax. Don't worry so much and it will all go away". Dealing with those ignorant, arrogant, narrow-minded  doctors and all the people who didn't understand what i was going through was a nightmare (luckily my father finally found a good doctor for me). I would rather relive my worst childhood memories again - the beatings in the Shaolin temple, the starvation, freezing my butt off and exercising till i literally dropped or puked. It's nothing compared to how  people treated me when i got sick, people who were supposed to help and support me.

My life is back on track now. I have opened a new school and everything is going great. But there was a very dark moment where i was standing on the edge and looking into the abyss.I had to leave my wife and son to  spent 3 months alone in a remote region in northwest China. I simply felt that i had to be alone with my thoughts and try to understand what  i was up against. Leaving my wife ( who was the only one who really supported me and really tried to understand me) and my baby boy was very hard, but my son had been sick 3 months earlier (blood poisoning) and almost died, and i was so afraid that i was going to infect him.

What really helped me was finding this site here. The antibiotics didn't cure me ( natural herbs did), but i learned so much about my infections. is a goldmine of information for people with chronic infections and it has been a lighthouse in the dark for me. I seriously doubt  that i would have been able to recover completely if it wasn't for everything i have learned here. Not only did i gain the knowledge i needed to understand what was happening to my body, but i also met truly kind and warmhearted people here who inspired hope and optimism, people like Mackintosh, and i just have to say this Mac. You are such a wonderful human being. Even though you are almost 100% cured and have a busy life, you are still here every day, listening to peoples suffering, tirelessly giving good advice and words of encouragement. Thank you for being the way you are.

And Homina, i am sure you also know that you have found  the right place here.  Just keep fighting. You are not alone and there IS light at the end of the tunnel.

Best wishes




Hello Gino,

 you said that natural herbs cured you and I am very interested to know more about this natural way to kill CP. I tried with antibiotics, but I had to stop after a couple of weeks because I had very unpleasent adverse reactions.

I apreciate a lot any information about the natural herbs - thank you!




Homina, you come from a family of narcissists. It's tough to realize they will never be there for you. A good book to read is Will I Ever be Good Enough? Its about daughters of narcissistic mothers. My mother was one of these. When I was so sick it was still all about her. Pretty tough to take. Hang in there and do some reading. It will help you a lot. Raven

Feeling 98% well-going for 100. Very low test for Cpn. CAP since 8-05 for Cpn/Mycoplasma P.,Lyme, Bartonella, Mold exposure,NAC,BHRT, MethyB12 FIR Sauna. 1-18-11 begin new treatment plan with naturopath

Thanks All


Well my mother threatened eviction and got an attorney so I found a place 

It is very nice but expensive for me I am just well enough to work at my Taxi Business more 

My mother offered to help with rent and I know it will be tough to get her to follow through 

She is definately a narcistic personality  No matter how much suffering she has caused everything is still about her............ my this and  my that

Her brother told me she doesn't give a Rats Ass about anything but her interests 

I am very sad I did not have a loving mother

Growing up with that kind of mother and absent father has done alot of damage 

Munchman I am in The San Francisco Bay Area  Walnut Creek San Ramon 

PM me 



DAILY:  NAC 2400MG , DHEA sublingual , vit D3 , multi vits,./ Three times  a week: B12 injections (Hydroxycobalamin). Deer antler./  Once every few months methyl B12 Methyl injections

Any Chat groups for children of Narcistic Mothers?

DAILY:  NAC 2400MG , DHEA sublingual , vit D3 , multi vits,./ Three times  a week: B12 injections (Hydroxycobalamin). Deer antler./  Once every few months methyl B12 Methyl injections

Hi Leetz and Raluca

I recommend this TCM protocol:

Hou po ( magnolia officinalis)                            8g

Yu Xing Cao ( Houttuynia Cordata)                     20g

Di Fu Zi ( Kochia Scoparia)                                 10g

Huang Bai ( Phellodendron Amourense)            10g

Fang Feng (Saposhnikovia divaricata )                           10g

Da Huang (Rheum Palmatum)                            10g                   

Lian Qiao ( Forsythia Suspensa)                         10g

It cured me of Mycoplasma Pneumonia last year in less than a month and it has cured several people i know with chronic infections ( the first time i got infected with Mycoplasma Pneumonia it took me a lot longer to recover. Back then i was on antibiotics for 9 months and some other natural herbs for 3 months.

This protocol is anti-bacterial, anti-viral, anti-fungal and anti-inflammatory, and its effective against both Mycoplasma and Chlamydia Pn.

Shaolin.... does one still follow your instructions per this link? are the cooking instructions for the TCM protocol:

1) Soak all the herbs (except Yu Xing Cao) in a ceramic pot for about 30 minutes. The water should cover the herbs by about an inch.

2) Bring it to a boil, then let it simmer for 10 minutes with the lid on.

3) Add Yu Xing Cao and let it simmer for 5 more minutes.

4) Strain off the liquid and divide it into 2 equal portions.

Drink it morning and evening at least 2 hours apart your antibioticsi.

Take the herbal medicine for 10 days, then take a break for 10 days. 10 days on and 10 days off. Repeat untill you are symptom free.


JeanneRoz ~ DX'd w/ CPN 4/2007; 6/07 -"officially" dx'd w/CFIDS/FM; also: HHV6, EBV, IBS-C, 100 Doxy:BID; 500 mg Biaxin BID; Tindamax Pulses, B12 shots, ERFA Dessicated Thyroid,Cortef, Iodoral 25 mg, Vit D-6,000 uni

and thank you for the TCM-Protocol. I live in Germany and I wonder, if I can get here this herbs. Do you know if I can order them in Internet? Did you have an Herxheimer-Reaction at the begining of the Protocol?

thank you again and wish you all the best,



Where did you get these herbs?

Who is your Doc?


DAILY:  NAC 2400MG , DHEA sublingual , vit D3 , multi vits,./ Three times  a week: B12 injections (Hydroxycobalamin). Deer antler./  Once every few months methyl B12 Methyl injections