I'm blogging to try to calm myself because I'm feeling so bad it is making me nervous. I still have not taken flagyl, and have not started pyruvate again (after about a week of it, I felt like I do now, and threw up.) The only thing I can think of is that I started some Vit D, and perhaps that is ramping up my reactions. I also took some Valtrex after my immune system went down after taking pyruvate, and now I wonder if Valtrex might cause any ramping up of reactions. It seems to me though that, regardless of how, I'm killing (or at least aggravating) some bugs, or at least ramping up my immune system more and more, even without flagyl.
I'm thinking I may be the only person, or one of the few people, who have taken doxy and a macrolide for over a year without taking something like flagyl to actually kill these bugs. I don't know if anyone knows what actually happens to people who stay on the first two abx for a long time without starting the third. If I am a guinea pig for doing so, I think I can say that doing so will not give one a reprieve from getting stronger reactions. I seem to be going into another phase altogether, even without flagyl, and it is scaring me, because I feel very bad, and I don't like the unkown.
I started aching a bit a few days ago, and it kept getting worse. I think I may have a UTI, but it is hard to tell because I ache so badly in so many places. I feel like I felt when I had a bad flu in college and my muscles ached terribly. Also, my sinus area hurts, my eyes hurt, I'm sick to my stomach some, and I'm so uncomfortable I can't sleep. I keep feeling cold and damp, but if I put the heater on me I get hot too fast. I feel like I'm going to have diarrhea, and I hope so, because the last time I got sick, perhaps because of the pyruvate?, the only thing that seemed to help was vomiting and having diarrhea.
And it makes me have nervous problems, and then I start worrying about just about anything, like what if this is caused by me taking too many vitamins, will it get so bad I can't stand it (which is almost how I feel now), am I becoming overly toxic, etc....just anything that my mind can conjure up to scare myself, even though I don't want to do so. That's the problem with being predisposed to becoming nervous, because these reactions just kick it in, so it is one more problem one has to deal with in addition to the main reaction.
So, I'm blogging to make myself feel like I am doing something to help myself, since otherwise I feel pretty helpless. And I hope that by blogging, perhaps someone else who goes through this later can read it and say, hey this is normal. I hope that it does not scare them away from doing it, because I have gotten better. Other's blogs about nasty reactions have helped me, because I can keep telling myself that this is probably normal, and I will probably live.
Since I have fibromyalgia, or did anyway before I started this, aching badly should not be too freaky for me, because according to everyone it should be the most likely way I will react. However, now it is more surprising, because I will have almost NO fibromyalgia (because of getting better) and then will crash over a few days into more pain than I used to have. Kind of the one step forward, two backward thing that many say happens before they get better. However, I am already better, energy-wise, inflammation- wise, so when I crash and burn worse, I am shocked and it is hard for my mind to understand going from being better to being entirely more miserable then I can almost stand. In so many ways I am better, but these "reaction phases", as I call them, are starting to become a high price to pay. Not too high, of course, but high. I used to feel like I had a cold or a stomach flu, but now I feel like I have influenza. I wish I could just be knocked out until it was over.
I guess I'm just going to have to assume that, flagyl or not, I am going to have continuous strong reactions, and this is not going to be easy for me, and I'm going to have to use a LOT more charcoal and other mopping up agents than I have been using in the past. I can't start flagyl until I can get through pyruvate, I guess, and I can't get back on that until I can get past being sick now. Sigh....I really was wanting to be on flagyl to get this ball rolling..
The good news, not that I really care right now, but for those of you who might appreciate looking toward the brighter side, is that I can run around the block or do jumping jacks without being out of breath. I could do it now if it didn't hurt my terribly sore muscles or make me vomit. On the otherhand, I might try it now anyway, as exercise has seemed to help me relieve some of my symptoms with reactions. What a weird thing to do, feeling like I have influenza and running around the block. Oh, I should mention, I have the pain and nausea of the flu, but I am not weak. Isn't that amazing?
I sure hope this passes like the earlier, less painful reactions. Those earlier reactions I could have lived with longer, but this nasty feeling couldn't be gone fast enough if it was gone yesterday.
No more Vit D, Valtrex, or pyruvate until this passes. For just this moment I've had enough. I really hope this IS a reaction. If it is, it means it will pass, I think, I hope. If it is something else, well, I don't want it to be anything else. I don't want anymore unknowns.
Now I'm going to read some old posts written by people who had bad reactions. I remember some that were so funny, although I don't remember why something bad would be funny, but they were written humorously, and I could use a little levity.