The Tunnel of Illness

I didn't have potatoes, so I substituted rice.

I didn't have paprika, so I used another spice.

I didn't have tomato sauce, I used tomato paste;

A whole can, not a half can - I don't believe in waste.

A friend gave me the recipe; she said you couldn't beat it.

There must be something wrong with her, I couldn't even eat it!

When I was doing product development, I ran into the problem all the time: they tried something else entirely, called it the same name, and then went around saying it didn't work.

I've seen the same thing at this site time and time again. Someone says "the protocol" didn't work for them, and then, on closer questioning, you find they never really tried it at all.

Unexpectedly, in my 55th pulse, I got - as Jim K colorfully calls it - slammed.

Last Monday I returned home from an exciting week of over 6000 miles air travel and a wonderful visit in Palm Springs to see my daughter open her beautiful new veterinary clinic. I met some of her clients and patients and told many of them of our own ground-breaking site with its adventures. There is NO litter in Palm Springs. My home-coming was very different from those in the past in that I did not need "recovery days" after landing and then driving 170 miles home after a 15 hour all-day two flight day from coast to coast. Amazing.  Not only is there "one is never so blind as one who will not see", but there is never one as grateful as one who has been to hell and back.

Since the early seventies, I have been able to make my body go numb. The first times I fell because I didn't know what was coming. I have been able to do this at will for many years, but took care not to fall down. Fortunately, the feeling always returned.

As stubbornness is the nature of us on this site, I have only listened to Richard in the last six or so months when he admonished me not to do that! I can also dislocate my hip but he says not to do that either! (Takes all the fun out of life - no?) (No)

So - what IS the point - simply put: the ability is gone. I cannot do it anymore AT ALL. Not even a tingle and certainly no numbness. Yes, the quiet improvements continue - and the energy is very, very nearly back to my norm or 55 years. Keep at it - it pays.

I began pulse 27 this morning with some nervousness since I still haven't fully recovered from pulse 26 back in August. I  decided that 60 days was enough time to recover, that any longer would increase the risk of making the pulse even worse then it may be.  So, here I am toda, pulsing away.

My doc and I agreed back in June to increae the dosage of Flagyli [21] from the prevous 3x375mg/day x 5 days to 3x500mg/day x 5 days.  I suspect that had something to do with making pulse 26 that much harder although I pulsed in July with much less negative impact.  Pulse 26 just picked me up and cast me down, no other way to describe it.  Still haven't recoverd entirely from it.

Here today on October 6 and I look ahead to October 18 when I will be embarking on pulse 27.  That sounds so calm when I'm anything but calm about it.  Pulse 26 took me from being ambulatory to having to use a wheelchair and/or walker.  It wasn't something I was expecting to happen, it was pulse 26.  I had pulsed for over 2 years and yes, I had a little bit of heat and heaviness in my legs but by and large was able to get around and be fully functional through pulses.  Pulse 26 was far different.

It has been some time since I have updated my blog so here goes.  What to say???, breath, wind me up &&& …. I have been disengaged on the site as I just haven’t had the mindset to handle the stress.  I apologize for this as I know that my support has made a difference to some.  I found myself reading the posts and was getting stressed out & frustrated with it all.

Paula's Daily Schedule.

As promised, here is Paula's supplement and CAPi [9] schedule.

Please have a look at the below and let me know if there is anything anyone thinks we may be doing wrong.

As an aside, she is allergic to Soya and is both gluten and diary intollerant.  She is also Glycemic, which means she currently can't take glucose, but is instead replacing it with d-ribose (which currently doesn't seem to be helping from what I can see).

We have Colestyramine on order and hopefully Paula will be trying it very soon and replacing it with the Charcoal.

Last month I added Rifampin to my arsenal again, after taking it twice a day for sixteen months and stopping it in Jan., 06. A few things have happened since I started Rifampin a few weeks ago. I decided I should set them to paper while I am lucid (so to speak).

I have been more debilitated, for a longer continual period of time than ever in my life, since starting the CAPi [9].

I have been bed ridden almost completely for 6 weeks. I am in pain, I am weak, I throw up almost every day. I finally learn which anti-porphyric and endotoxini [50] measures work best for what, and how and when to take them, when the very measures that are supposed to help me end up making me sicker. I do all the things right so that I don't get side effects -- from anything -- and I am run over and flattened. I should not feel this bad, I'm doing everything not to.

Just a quick update. I am half way through a 2 week break from abxi [32]. Prior to this I took 600mg of Rifampicin daily for a little over 2 weeks and in that time a 5 day Flagyli [21] pulse. I had no reaction to these abxi [52], so as I am on holiday I decided this was a good time to start intermittent. Nothing to report so far, feel fine.

On the eve of pulse 26, I can't help but reflect on some things that people here as well as in my day-to-day life have suggested to me.  The suggestions have been good, considerate ones, and I recognize that; however, I have decided not to take the suggestions, at least not yet.

What suggestions am I referring to?  I'm referring to the suggestion that I get a cane or a walker.  I refuse, outright, until I have no other choice.  And despite the hell I put myself through, I have a choice, and I choose to fight.

This is the news:  In England, possible antibioticsi [32] to be sold over the counter, to treat CHLAMYDIA!

This is the story form http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2008/aug/06/health [108]

Oral antibiotics are to be made available for the first time without doctor's prescription under guidelines approved yesterday by the medicines regulator.

A pill to treat chlamydia, the most commonly diagnosed sexually transmitted infection, will become available for purchase in pharmacies across England later this year.

The title was suggested by a conversation between two of our most battle-hardened warriors, and I couldn't resist it. This has been one of the most eventful years of my life - busy, too. Beginning in January with surgery and moving through kidding season, then a very, very good show season, this last taking a temporary break after the best Nationals in years, then linear classification of our goats, now a break for the really bad August heat (this is AFTER the really bad July heat), then a resumption of show season next month, which wil begin my fifth year of MSi [23] treatment.