Cpnhelp.org

I now feel extremely embarrassed that I was like that, but I now remember that I was.  No wonder we lost a number of friends!...........................Sarah

"I have to say that, in my experience, those who comply with treatment rapidly lose this strange mental state. Indeed, those who retain it are generally found, on close questioning, to have abandoned treatment. And that's the rub. Some people don't like losing the feeling of euphoria where their disabilities don't really matter and where the future is unimportant. The cold light of reality can be too much to bear. It is possible to conjecture that a state of addiction may occur, from which withdrawal may be painful. That is why a diligent and attentive carer is so important. The antibiotics must be seen to be swallowed."I experienced the euphoria; I used to go to bed with a smile on my face and wonder why I was smiling, considering the situation. The problem is that I had been on CAP for quite a while when this happened. I am no longer smiling. Indeed, it has occurred to me that my increased anxiety and depression might be a sign of improvement. Reality can be pretty    sh---y.

 Nancy, you are talking about a different feeling: you have never experienced the euphoria of someone with secondary progressive MS who just tells worried people that there is no need to worry because she is getting better without treatment.  Then this person goes to an auction house and just stands there as an upright piano starts to fall on her because her reactions have become so slow, then goes to the Rowing Club and slams the door on someone following behind her.  When I was persuaded to start treatment, I not only didn’t believe it would work, but thought I didn’t need any treatment because I always get better whatever: my hand had stopped working twice already, but after a week or so it got better, so don’t worry.  (This last comment was when I hadn’t been able to use my hand for six months.The lady who David knew as a student doctor was happy being unable to do anything for herself, paralysed and screwed up in bed and talking like a robot.You might be right with your penultimate sentence, though: I hope so!.......................Sarah  

My last sentence too, Sarah!