I have been more debilitated, for a longer continual period of time than ever in my life, since starting the CAP.
I have been bed ridden almost completely for 6 weeks. I am in pain, I am weak, I throw up almost every day. I finally learn which anti-porphyric and endotoxin measures work best for what, and how and when to take them, when the very measures that are supposed to help me end up making me sicker. I do all the things right so that I don't get side effects -- from anything -- and I am run over and flattened. I should not feel this bad, I'm doing everything not to.
I don't have it in me to keep this up anymore. I have to get back to work, to life, to being upright and mobile. The season is changing outside my window and all I can do is ask is what does it feel like out there. I lay in bed and monitor the blackberry -- texting messages to my partner so he can respond to clients on my behalf. I am pretending to work. I haven't prepared a meal, done a load of laundry or put away a dish in almost 2 months. My kids and grandkids fly out to visit, the first time meeting my new grand daughter, and I am in bed for more than half the visit and propped on a lounge chair the other half, all wrapped in blankets with a pale at the ready... I did NOTHING with them. For our anniversary they brought home take out from the place we were planning to go to. I threw it up. *sigh*
I think this isn't working quite how it's supposed to for me. I've done it all right but it's been too unrelentingly miserable. The effects from the ABX, and the side effects from the moppers are too much. I'm not sure what to do but I can't keep going this way.