Hi all,

I haven't posted for a long time because, well, i've just been waiting it out really. In a brief summary, one year and i've had zero improvement and a lot of worsening.

To be brutally honest, my heart is pretty much out of this. I do not feel that this is going to be the thing that works for me. That said, i'm still doing it and will continue to because I guess now i'm afraid not to. Though i'm not sure why, maybe the worsening would decrease! haha. I said from the outset that I was committing to stick with it for 18 months and I will.

A brief one for the records as 6 months in now...

Still having bad stomach trouble, Louise's suggestion to double capⁱ the doxyⁱ has helped a bit but not solved the problem. I think I must have some bacterial infection going on because nothing seems to be helping much.

Also just having bad bout of tonsillitis again so back on penicillin, taking a while to oust this one!

Believe me, I did not want to, in fact it frustrated me to have to, but so it was. I was having terrible stomach pain, couldn't keep food down and or do anything really, felt toxic and ill as hell and it wouldn't shift. I do not think it was something being sorted out, I genuinely think it was my stomach telling me where to go! My stomach is still not quite right but dropping the abxⁱ, taking intestinal support, digestive enzymes and extra probx has improved things and allowed me to have a week of being able to do some things.
Wednesday I resume with fingers crossed and sheer hope this week has improved the balance enough to plough on.

Thank you all for the replies to my last blog, I wanted to reply but was struggling so much with my hands that it seemed a monumental task to reply properly. Still, now 2 finger typing and more deleting and re-doing than progress and i'll give it a go 

No good news really i'm afraid, it's been a few weeks as i'm *eek* so behind on my uni work and trying to catch up after the house move. Body is not very willing to let me get on with anything as i'm fighting major cfsⁱ as well.

Further to the previous nightmare and for the record.

2 days ago it all went wrong. I have been sliding down the exhaustion scale for weeks and at the point where staying conscious was becoming a full time job. Just not coping really, what with losing my left side and numbing down on the other too, having to move and to be honest just feeling like i'm on a fast track to vegetable-world. But still you try and keep going, not let much of it show. Well, the result was meltdown, my body just collapsed and that is an experience I really don't want to go through again, even for a few hours. I know i'm still skating on the edge of it.

Am however many weeks/months in, maybe 3.5-4 months, can't remember. Feeling dreadful, in hell and having to find a house and move house within 2 weeks with no energy, absolute exhaustion 24/7 and no strength/grip/power/stamina, nausra/bloating, brutal cerebral pain, a very fuzzy and slightly vertigo'y head, breathing trouble, fluttery and/or slow heart, seeing 'red' walking, bandy limbs, numb fingers, one claw hand, a numb left side from top of head to waist. So many symnptoms i've never had and so strong too, i'm trying not to think too much about it because i'd be terrified, the whole trying not to and not actually being able to do much because of them is a somewhat vicious circle tho!

I'm officially fed up, i've taken most of this thus far with good humour but every relapse on top of the previous one is now dragging me down a bit. So far since starting in early February I have experienced nothing but constant slide and relapse. Right now my plate is full of MSⁱ bad decline.

2 x bouts of Optic neuritis which, just started to reover from the first, happened again and now isn't recovering. Left eye screwed.

1 x bout of numb fingers and crab claw hands, a little better but still there. Now stuck barely able to write or open things/do things up.

Various bouts of sickness, nausea and upset stomachs.

2 x bouts of legs going numb/lost power, sort of recovers but doesn't really because it's become like a daily guessing game.